So why is it everyone is against signing the guestbook?? It takes like two minutes! Come on people! I have a fancy looking guestbook that needs signing!!

So one of the TamaTalkers (-Ra-) made this for me picture for me. It's currently my avatar on TamaTalk. He's quite a talented artist it would seem as it is really quite good and he whipped it up in just about no time!! Not sure why Bellsprout is looking quite so stressed about that particular interaction but moderating on TamaTalk feels a bit like that at times.

Anyway, after some more contemplation about my situation I've found that it is probably more economical to be a public student than an instructor. I can go on the PTF and do two of the local classes and one class down south. I'm thinking Monday, Wednesday & Friday at the moment. If I do that I will be saving massive amounts of money... in fact, so much so that I am not sure that I really care for the idea of being an instructor anymore anyway. I know that I am good at what I do and no one, no matter who they are, can take that away from me, but realistically I am never going to be able to do that again... This whole mess has probably been a good thing.

So tomorrow is uni. I kept waking up this morning and having a panic thinking that it was Tuesday already. Being home on a Sunday throws me all out of whack! I am well and truly ready to return now. I honestly feel like I have been on holiday forever! Should be a fairly light weight semester for me as I only have three units to contend with. I'll also have a lot of time to study which will also be great. Looking forward to the change in karate too. Means I will have loads of time with karate being local and all...

Feeling a tad off at the moment. I'm missing my boy. We grow closer and closer all the time and it is getting more and more painful leaving after the weekends... My body is a bit angry with me too. My guts have been going nuts since having Thai on Thursday night. Might just go back to bed for a while I think..

*sigh* Where do I start? I guess with the most pertinent things for the day... Let's just say that sometimes heated discussions result in things being said that might not necessarily be productive for the recipient of the words. So, being the recipient of some uncovered truths I am now faced with some decisions which more or less mean that my time with GKR may be very well limited or minimal in the future. It's amazing how one minute everything can be working spectacularly and the next everything comes crashing down. These minutes in time are ones that I don't appreciate at all. So I have some research to do with available martial arts in my area at this stage...

So, notable moments of the past few days:

• Ok, moment number one. I am on the train down to Birkdale when a woman gets on the train. This is the type of person who shouldn't have been allowed to have children or at least be limited to only having one as opposed to the five that she did have (all between the ages two months and six years). First thing was that I thought this children were boys... WRONG! The three oldest ones were actually girls which I discovered when I saw they were wearing skirts! All of them had their hair cut short, but not feminine short, male short and as none of them had developed the noticeable characteristics of the female face, the outcome was disasterous.
  
  The entire 20 minutes which I got to observe was nothing short of a mix between entertaining and tragic. There was barely controlled chaos. The children were running around, jumping on the seats, kicking and biting one another and getting undressed in various ways. Obedience did not appear to be an option as the mother would repeat her commands multiple times before any kind of action happened. What was perhaps the most interesting things was the complete lack of social awareness that these children had. They were either walking up to random strangers and talking to them or grabbing and touching strangers and their property...not to mention how often they were lifting up their skirt for something to do. I had to say by the end I was happy to get away...
  
  
• Moment number two. Standing at Sandgate waiting to get picked up the next day I observed a woman pull up in a dodgy all station wagon, in a 2 min passenger pick up zone. She the proceeded to wind down her windows, apply a steering lock, get out of her car, lock the doors and walk away!!! She had decided to go off and post a letter at the local post office using the passenger pick up as parking!!!! What was perhaps the most exasperating was the fact that she decided to use the 2 min passenger pickup instead of the 20 min short term parking which was the first driveway she could have entered....
  
  
• Moment number three. This was actually before the 2 min passenger pickup episode which after this one, I had decided that women are clearly stupid. I was in the doctor surgery and a mother came in with her 2 year old and couple month old baby. She irritated me right from the start because of her need to control every second of what was happening. For example, her two year old was happily playing with some toys but every 5 mins she had this compulsion to ask "Do you want some juice?". Come on! He's at an age that if he wants some bloody juice he will seek it out for himself! Anyway, her youngest one was biting her arm. Now I admit I am not a mother but I had seen enough babys to know that if a baby is biting your arm and being sooky in general, he/she is probably teething and needs something hard to satisfy that painful itch. But instead she decided that either the baby was hungry or that seeing she had just fed the 2 yr old, it was time to eat and tried to stick baby on her boob. Of course this didn't work and she started to cry. I just felt like saying "She's not hungry! She's teething!!!".
  
  [/rant]

It's been about 8 hours since he dropped me home but I miss him already...

Waiting for time to go by at the moment. Realising again how much I am strarting to resent having to be the one to do all the travelling. Once I am there it is all cool but I am beginning to dread the weekends knowing that I am going to have to make that trip EVERY time. This is just not fair. What's even worse is that I feel bad asking to be gotten after school. This is not right. There needs to be a more equal loading of the travel cause 2 hours of bus and train every week is just not on. I travelled when there was no car and now there is and I still am... what's going on there????

Anyway, it's dinner tonight... which strangely feels so far away knowing what I have to go through to get there today. It should be pretty good. There is a lot happening for me over the next few days. Dinner tonight, doctor tomorrow, another party on Saturday and a baptism on Sunday. Tuesday I start back at uni as well. I am actually looking forward to having something to do with my time again and also making the most of this semester.

Well that's all I guess. Just getting things off my chest...

I've been quite restless today as I am looking forward to the days ahead... well at least tomorrow! It will be dinner at the Thai Orchid. I have no idea what that will be like or even if I will like it but it will be great to go out with everyone again and eat some different cool food! Tomorrow I am also going to go down and spend some time with my favourite boy which will be cool. I love being with him and I miss him sooo much when I come back home!

So as you can tell, I went to senior training last night. It was actually quite good. I really tend to enjoy senior training down this way though I must say that I find it quite easy the majority of the time. We did a bit of stance work and some kicks and then a self defence routine which was fun cause we were getting in trouble for not completing the set by "running away" like we were told to! I think it is more that we are lazy than believe we have invincibility... at least it is for me! We then threw on some mitts and pads and sparred a bit. Not your regular style, but rapid fire and then REALLY rapid fire! That was great fun! I was in a group with two other shodan-hos, a nidan and one of the B&Ws. Then to make things interesting our senior instructor got us doing two on one! I actually perform best and worst when doing two on one. Best in that I pull some of my best moves (usually with head height kicks) and worst in that I can't actually punch or block properly because I am that stuffed! Overall, it was a really good class! We finished the night with a reading from Kancho's book and had a really long meeting....

Today I slept in a bit... was really tired even though I went straight to bed when I got home last night. I've spent the majority of this afternoon fixing up the neon lighting script for the links and gallery pages. It's still not quite right but I am happier with it now. I also did a bit of image savagery. I have about 500 photos of verious things relating to my sister and nieces etc. The folder was over 400MB in size so I resampled any file that was 500Kb or more in size soo the max width was 1000 pixels. So the folder is now ~150MB in size instead!

I keep thinking I have somewhere to go tonight cause I didn't train Monday so tonight in my mind must be Tuesday.... need something to do!!

I am somewhere between stressed and guilty and not liking it at all! I'm guilty because if I tried really hard, the chances are that I could get to class tonight and that is what I should be doing rather than going to senior training. I feel bad cause I'd rather go to senior training so I can be part of the social fun on Thursday night. I'm stressed cause the weekend is looking complex in a way that I can't really...or should I say...don't want to explain.

Been playing around with this site to make it look a bit better. It is definately a down step from my usual quality of work and there is still something that is not quite right but hey... It is getting better. The added colour of the shaggy green hard rules and the lemmings does help but it's not quite perfect yet. Still considering adding some pics to the site... not entirely sure yet. I will need to decide soon before I forget how to make those side menu buttons!

My holidays are gradually drawing to a close and I can honestly say that I am now ready to go back to uni and to work hard. This is a first because I remember in Medical Science I didn't feel like that starting off the second year. I am looking forward to the year ahead... not particularly sure why and I know in the past when I've predicted a good year it's turned to s*** so I won't try that. I am looking forward to a semester where I won't be stuffed and going nuts to fit uni and karate together. This is remnants of Med Science talking I know cause last year wasn't really like that at all.

So I got inspiring this morning to do something creative so I decided to make over my website and make a blog. I have an inherent distrust of blog websites because of the possibility that they may just pack up with all my memories, thoughts and feelings of the past included!! At least this way I know I have my stuff with me or it is available for me to redownload.

At the moment things are looking a little bit sad but I am getting there slowly. The colour theme is a little bit different but hey... I need to add in some special effects and colourful stuff and I think that will help a bit. I am inspired but tired so I don't really fully feel like doing the things that I have in mind at the moment. I would like to jump on the net and find stuff but I still haven't gotten my dual cable thing yet so I can't until I get back from karate tonight.

Tonight is going to be tough. I am quite sore from last night and feeling a bit unfocused. Last night was interesting in that I sparred two other black belt guys and both were really quite hesitant and no better than I am! I am not sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing or maybe I am just worrying far too much about what I should be doing. Who knows...

Time for a random blog quiz...